02 Nov Worst MMA Fights in History
Out with the best and in with the worst.
While that may not be a good idea for most occasions, it could actually work if you’re a fan of both comedy and MMA. No, this isn’t the popular YouTube video of dumb-looking amateur fighters that had no business wearing a glove or being in a cage for whatever purpose, but these are real (supposed-to-be) top-level athletes in top promotions who may have woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day and fought like dummies.
Whatever the reason was, I hope you’ll learn something from watching these worst fights in MMA history. You know, like, how NOT to fight.
1. John Matua vs Steve Treadwell
False advertisement at its very worst and I can’t believe Bruce Buffer is actually a part of this! John Matua was hyped by this King of the Cage event as a UFC veteran, blurted out by Buffer no less, and Steve Treadwell, well, I don’t know the guy. Maybe he’s the local bartender or something.
Basically, the two pressed each other against the cage with Matua the aggressor. They stayed in their for a couple of minutes and after that, they both need oxygen tanks. Luckily, Matua realized this is a pro fight after all, and punched Treadwell twice before he submitted.
John Matua by a two-punch submission. Great.
2. Ken Shamrock vs Royce Gracie 2
The first ever Superfight championship turned out to be a snooze fest battle. Shamrock and Gracie resembled two friends who hadn’t seen each other for years and hugged for the whole duration of the event. There were no judges back then and since nothing happened in the first 30 minutes, the organizers decided to extend the fight for five more minutes. The “overtime” saw Shamrock crack Gracie with several punches but then the pair resorted to lovingly embrace each other once again. It was so boring I wouldn’t watch it even if somebody’s paying me to do so! For those who like to torture themselves, click here for the full fight and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
3. Nobuhiko Takada vs Mike Bernardo
Two records were set by this night: most changed stances in a fight by Takada and most air high-fives by both guys. Explosive!
4. Kazushi Sakuraba vs Gilles Arsene
I had my reservations including this one in my list because I’m not exactly sure if this qualifies as a fight. I don’t have an idea France has plenty of pangolins (below) to observe because I’m pretty positive curling up in a tight ball is not a human defensive stance. Droit, monsieur Arsene?
5. Nate Quarry vs Kalib Starnes
Kalib Starnes trained for a marathon and got the call from the UFC to fight Nate Quarry. Apparently, the whole running regimen stuck and poor Kalib couldn’t get out of it. That’s a pretty good workout/cross-training though: running away from someone who’s punching you in the head for whole FIFTEEN minutes.
Look at the guy. He cared more about flashing the finger than throwing an actual punch. Couldn’t get worse than that.
6. Anderson Silva vs Demian Maia
This is more like a dance recital for Anderson Silva than a real fight. Demian Maia wasn’t interested in trading fisticuffs with “The Spider” but in absolute craziness, Silva ain’t interested either. Instead, the long-time middleweight kingpin elected to dance and dance and dance, then taunt and taunt and taunt.
I feel bad for the Arabs.
7. Ken Shamrock vs Dan Severn 2
Anything would have had more action than Shamrock vs Severn 2. I mean, my grandma could’ve fought better! Stories have floated around about the forbiddance of throwing closed-fist punches, but come on, you could have wrestled and grappled instead of staring and circling. Sure, I would have been fine with a coin toss!
8. Andrei Arlovski vs Brendan Schaub
Arlovski is an exciting fighter but this isn’t one of those fights that you’ll see in his highlight reel. The fight was close (split decision win for AA) but nobody’s even talking about it. While Arlovski admitted having the Octagon jitters (really?), Dana White confessed he shouldn’t have put the pair on the main card but on the prelims instead. Heck, I say scrap this nonsense altogether!
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